This is the last time I will be on deviant art. Good bie every one and John call me as soon as you reconnect your phone.

I think I might be able to get the one I love back or did I already susseed? I dont know and I dont care as long as he does NOT hate me then Im happy. I love him a lot and nothing is ever gonna change that. When I say nothing I mean NOTHING.

Seeing his avatar, simple, plane, cold, black avatar I am only reminded of how much I hurt him and how I want him back. I am now told that they dont care who I date anymore. I may only love one guy, the one guy who just may not like me what so ever. I dont blame him, I did hurt him pritty bad. I cant get him off my mind. I cant stop dreaming about him. Also I dont want to stop. I want to remeber him for as long as I live. I will never love anyone but him. I will never date anyone but him. It would not feel right at all. You may think that Im just being desprite, stupid, or even boy crazy. However I dont care what you think of me. I dont even care if he hates me. Yes if he does it will hurt me alot but ill deserve it. Even if he hates me I will always love him. Even if I dont act like it I always will love him.

ouch.

Well last weekend I went to my best friends birthday party and did not tell my dad that John was going to be there. That was my mistake. now I'm 2nd period in the libary felling extreamly giluty. Every time I get home I'm back in the hot seat. Nicole has not been felling well for the past couple of days and has not been to school. I'm veary worried about her. Every time I call her no one picks up. Does any one ever picks up the phone any more? Some of her other friends say that she has called them and they keep on telling e that she is passing out all the time and stuff. I wish i can get a hold of her but for now there is nothing I can do.